A woman brought a very limp duck to a veterinary surgeon. As she
laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to
the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and
said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean
you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a
coma or something."
The vet sighed, turned around and left the room. He returned a few
minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in
amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the
examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at
the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
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The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the
room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the
table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back
on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but
as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
He turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a
bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the
bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is
dead?!?"
The vet shrugged. "I'm
sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but
with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."